what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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