i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
