There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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