It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
