When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
