I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
