good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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