I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
3pm strippers are depressing
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
