I just saw a hot homeless man
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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