Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
