she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
