If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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