yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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