So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
