two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
