i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
