Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
