so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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