I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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