And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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