i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
