btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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