butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
