i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
