Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
