I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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