I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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