I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
