...so i touched it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
