I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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