I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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