we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
