apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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