Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
