i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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