she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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