Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
