i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
