i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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