worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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