We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
