In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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