You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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