If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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