Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
