Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
