Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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