also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
