I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
