She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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