Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
