is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
