Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
